Musings on an ASTA Festival

Last Saturday 'the boys' went to Logan to play in the ASTA Festival. Although we have gone to several years of these festivals since we have lived in this area, I still can't quite figure out the point of it all.

The Festival consists of several 30 minute concerts where 5-7 kids play a piece of music in front of 2 judges or critiquers, whatever you'd like to call them. This concept is fine, except for the fact that it appears students are randomly thrown together in different rooms at different times and the poor teacher tries to sprint to all of his/her student's performances.

Here's an example: Joseph, (the most experienced at this Festival thing of 'the boys), was scheduled to play on a 10:30 recital. Here is a sampling of what pieces were played on that recital: Allegro, Andantino, Long, Long Ago, Seitz Concerto, 1st mvmnt., Two Grenadiers and then Joseph's piece, Mozart Concerto in G, 1st mvmnt. Anyone knowing anything about Suzuki can see that this is a very strange 'recital' program or matching of pieces----Book 1 30 second pieces matched with Joseph's 11 minute concerto. It just seemed a little lopsided.

Immediately after Joseph's 10:30 recital, David and Benjamin were scheduled to play in the 11:00 recital. Now, of course, David and Benjamin had been sitting through all of the 10:30 recital, ready to play. We had a program of the 11:00 recital and David was psyched that he was first----I was psyched because David was coming a little unraveled having had to sit through the first recital. But, unexpectedly, just as David was ready to go up and play, his teacher requested the hostess of the recital to put David toward the end so she can run and catch another student in another room.

David did not get this at all. All he could ascertain was that he had been sitting in a hot room, holding on to a program that said he was first on the next recital. I tried to explain the change in plans as another girl got up to play and I held David firmly in his seat. Well, David was having none of it------he started making rude sounds during the girls' piece and then he tried to wriggle out of my arm around his shoulder and kick the chairs and basically made a huge nuisance of himself. Finally, I escorted him right out the door into the hallway. I sat on a bench and tried to again explain to David why he couldn't act like an out of control 2 year old, which did little good. Finally in desperation, I took him into the bathroom and told him I was going to put soap in his mouth if he didn't stop yelling-----this was one threat I followed through on! Coughing and sputtering David finally stopped yelling long enough to say, "Why'd you do that?" After a few more moments of rinsing his mouth out, he calmed down enough to go back out in the hall. We finally went back into the room just in time for Benjamin to play and then this same lovely hostess who wrecked the recital got up and said "Well that's the end of the recital." Someone pointed out another child in the room and said they had not yet played. The child played and then the hostess again got up and tried to end the recital, another child got up and played, etc., until finally David was the only one left. He did play, miraculously, without throwing the violin or bow, and did a pretty good job----for which I was very grateful!

Anyway, at our next lesson, our teacher gave the boys their certificates and critique sheets. On the lower left hand corner of each sheet was a box for a 'score.' As she discussed each boys critique's and comments, of course, David wanted to know, so what is the 'score?" What was a good score, what was the best score, what does it mean? Our teacher replied that the score didn't really mean anything but that the comments were more valuable. I was thinking....."If the score doesn't mean anything, then get rid of it!" Because now we were going to have to deal with which boy got the 'best' score, etc. Thankfully, David received a score somewhere in the middle, which seemed to satisfy him. Thank heavens!

Anyway, at the time I thought, so if none of this really means anything, score wise---we're not working for something, we're not earning anything with the points, we're not trying to achieve any level with the 'points', then what is the point? I think our teacher was trying to get us to enjoy playing at the Festival just for the enjoyment of participation and the experience. Of course, this made me realize, uncomfortably, what type of person I am.

I had a hard time with just letting my kids have 'an experience' and enjoying whatever level they were on. I wanted them to be the best, to earn the most points, to be 'chosen'-----maybe I didn't want it for them, maybe I wanted it for me-----scary thought! Anyway, it made me think about a lot of the ways I run my life. Am I doing things to 'win the prize?', to 'have the most points', to be 'the high-scorer'? Am I perturbed and not easily placated when I can't be 'first?" Do I have a hard time being 'flexible' when I'm kicked out of the number 1 seat to hang out somewhere in the 'obscure' middle? When things don't go the way I planned, do I murmur and kick the chair? Do I need to have my mouth washed out sometimes because I can't stop complaining about the 'unfairness' of the situation? Hmmmmmmm, I am beginning to realize that some of these lovely personality traits of mine are being picked up quite easily by my children. As much as David's behavior was appalling to me at the moment, I have to say unfortunately that he's probably picked up some of his impatience and intolerance from his mother----poor child!

So why do we do ASTA? If it's not for the score, not for the 'win', not for the prestige of being number 1........can we be content with doing our best, giving our all, just enjoying the experience? Hopefully, that's what my boys will gain----to be happy with their best, be flexible with others, and love the experience! I'm proud of you guys! You did great!