Assume the good and doubt the bad....and what about the HOW?

I stumbled upon this message of Elder Holland (yes, Elder Holland again---I think he speaks just to me!) that was especially poignant today since I was having one of my 'martyr moments'---I'm sure noone other than me ever has those, so I'll describe a little of my shining qualities that I possess when these occur:

*I usually haven't had much sleep when these occur and I'm really ticked off that my better half thinks he's 'tired' because he only got 5 or 6 hours of sleep and needs a 'nap' (even after sleeping through church)

*I do all of the household chores that I've put off all week at breakneck speed and defy anyone to try and keep up with me, so that I can finish them all 'alone' and look with loathing at my 'napping' husband

*I roll my eyes at comments that I think are 'childish' and 'boring'

*I remind him of all of the things that he didn't accomplish that day, that I think he should have done, as I virtuously check off my list of tasks accomplished in my mind (of course, I know why I didn't accomplish the ones that didn't get done---there were some very good reasons!)

*I bristle at any criticism that he makes of me and remind him for the umpteenth time of all the sacrifices I have made for him and how I think he should have made my life better

*I mentally start down the road of 'what ifs..........'

Okay, I probably don't need to describe any other lovely details of these stellar moments, I'm sure I've painted the picture quite well. Anyway, in the midst of this depressive mood I came upon this video of Elder Holland and thought that I'd listen to it just so I could writhe a little bit more in my 'martyrness'---so I could feel bad that I've been so mistreated by the one who should love me most.

The first thing that struck me was the "HOW". I'd never thought about 'HOW' I show love? I'd usually thought of this line by E.B. Browning as the "what great ways do I prove that I love you." Anyway, the "HOW" got me thinking, actually I realized that I NEVER think about the HOW----I don't even consider that I should have to do it!

And then another line grabbed me-----'Assume the good and doubt the bad. I'm pretty sure that I do just the reverse----'Doubt the good and assume the worst.' It was a wake up call to me----so, here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM3mlgLAlMs&NR=1

And here are the HOW's that my sweet husband has shown me:

*Did I mention loading the dishwasher at night? He does it methodically nearly EVERY night.

*He always checks the washing machine and puts the load in the dryer, since I notoriously forget and then have stinky wash

*He can make anything work longer then it's life expectancy----vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, he can work his magic!

*He picks me up at the DI because I locked my keys in the car and he finds a policeman to get the car open and then goes and makes copies of the keys so I won't get stranded again-----he never belittles or asks 'why' I did it

*When he stands quietly in the grocery store for 45 minutes while I try to figure out my couponing scheme----he never says "Maybe you should be a bit more organized before shopping....?"

*He goes camping to Zion's with me at the last minute during Spring Break......even though he HATES camping and can't really afford to take the time off. Then he lets me pick the camping spot, but does all the dirty work (tent up, fire, making hot dog sticks, etc.)

*He cleans up the throw up all over the bathroom from a child in the middle of the night when I've been pregnant because the smell makes me throw up as well

*He spends his 4th of July looking for inner tubes for 22 people+ to float the Bear River because I had the great idea to invite everyone to float the river, but not a clue on how to find enough tubes for them all

*He wears his red turtleneck sweater for Christmas Eve dinner because he knows it's important to me to 'look' festive and dressed up, even though he hates the shirt

*He puts lights up at Christmas, even though he's morally and ethically opposed to it (well, opposed to it for some reason)

*He buys and fills up a cooler of food and treats for me and some clothes while I stayed at McKay-Dee Hospital with Jacob

*He brings me strawberries, even when they're not on sale

*He spends his Christmas vacation working on our 'new' car that's not working so that we can drive down and spend time with my family for New Year's

*He plants currents on my Dad's farm that I volunteered to plant-----especially since I have no clue about how to do it, even after it's been explained to me

*He goes to the Temple with me, even when there's still 'daylight' outside and he could still be 'farming'

Yes, I can see HOW he loves me......I've got a ways to go on HOW I love him. And I think life would look a whole lot different to both of us if I would:

ASSUME THE GOOD AND DOUBT THE BAD!