Happy Birthday to our cute little Jacob!

Jacob

Wednesday was Jacob's birthday............wow, where has the year gone! I definitely must be getting old! It seems like just a few months ago we were driving down to McKay-Dee Hospital after the flurry of sending our barely day old baby on a life flight trip to that hospital ahead of us. Jeff and I sat quietly, both lost in our thoughts, wondering what we would be facing when we arrived at the hospital.

I kept thinking of the moment when I first held Jacob after he was born. Looking into his cute little face and then looking into his eyes. I remember asking Jeff, "Do you think his eyes look right?" They seemed different to me, but I wasn't sure why. I was too tired to care, just happy that the intense, fast, non-medicated labor was finally over! I remember thinking how funny it was that evening when I tried to get Jacob to nurse how he would keep falling asleep before he really got into it. I mentioned this to the nurse and she didn't say much, which I thought was a little odd. I also thought it was a little odd that I didn't hear the usual chorus of "Oh, what a beautiful, perfect, baby you have" from the nurses, like I would usually hear every time I had delivered a baby. At the time, I thought I was being a little overly sensitive and shrugged it off.

In the early morning hours, when Jacob still wanted to doze, rather then eat, the nurse got my attention when she said that if he didn't eat, they would put a feeding tube in him. I had never heard any nurse threaten this before when my babies wouldn't nurse. So I desperately asked for a formula bottle and promised to get him to drink it....which he did quite happily!

After a few hours of sleep, I awoke....happily content with my sleepy baby in the crib beside me. I got up, showered and got dressed as the nurses took him for some 'routine' tests. I waited and waited, but my baby didn't come back to my room....the doctor did. He asked me how I was in his very short 'don't mince any words' manner and then threw the ice water at me: "I think your baby has Down Syndrome...." What? My heart stopped.....I hadn't even imagined this, ....or had I? I thought of his eyes again, they WERE DIFFERENT, I knew it! I tried to pay attention to what the Doctor was saying, but my head was swimming, I thought I was going to be sick. Then I heard words like 'life flight', high bilirubin count', low white blood cell count', low oxygen saturation.....etc. There's more?!? Wasn't the Down Syndrome enough? He finally left, giving me some time to call and find my husband. I heard myself telling Jeff as soon as I heard his voice: "He has Down Syndrome. I told you his eyes were different, I told you something was different!" And then I couldn't say anymore. The pressure in my eyes, my throat, my head made me dizzy.

So what were we to do now? Well, actually, it was all laid out for us----we were going to follow his life flight, going to go to Ogden, going to find out what else was wrong, we're going to figure it out!

Suddenly, Jacob was lost to me. The sweet sleepy baby that I'd coaxed to drink all through the night for fear some nurse would stuff a feeding tube down him was gone and all I could think about were the labels----Down Syndrome, bilirubin count, heart problems, low oxygen saturation, etc.

I think I clicked into efficiency mode----give us the information, tell us what to expect, explain the problems, how long, when, where, why, how much, who can watch the kids, how close can I stay to him......It seemed that first week at the hospital was simply a blur of information, information, information, get him to eat, make him nurse, ask about the bili count, the white blood cell count, try to figure out what the heart specialist was talking about and memorize words that made no sense to me. It was a good week, a quiet week for me, being with my baby, talking to doctors, reading tons of information, talking to specialists about every aspect of an unfamiliar syndrome. Getting ready to conquer the new foe.......Down Syndrome and all of it's complexities. I had done this with Autism, I would do it with Down's. I could do it. It was my cause.

Here I sit now, a year later. My sweet little 1 year old is snuggled in his bed, playing with his pull-string toy, talking to himself as he drifts off to sleep.

I remember that Jacob has Down Syndrome when the OT comes to work with him and shows me exercises to help him learn to crawl.....oh yeah, my other babies were trying to WALK at a year, not crawl. But we are so proud that he can sit so straight and tall and play with his toys, that I can't imagine that he's really not 'in the normal developmental range.'

I remember that Jacob has Down Syndrome when the Developmental Specialist comes to my house and exclaims with delight that Jacob has met all of his goals for the year and that we'll need to be setting new goals and what would I like those to be......well, I don't know, what should they be? I suppose I need to review what 'normal' one-year-olds should be doing at this point so that I know what 'goals' are appropriate for Jacob.

I remember that Jacob has Down Syndrome when I take him to the ENT and he exclaims in delight that the ear tubes are still in place and that he has had to dig out a lot of ear wax out of those 'extremely small' ear canals that are pertinent to Down's kids. And is Jacob a 'typical' Down Syndrome child, he wants to know? Whatever is that supposed to mean---how should I know, I've only had one of them!

I remember that Jacob has Down Syndrome when Primary Children's Hospital sends me a reminder that it is time to make an appointment with the Cardiologist to check Jacob's heart again to see if they can determine where that leak is exactly........oh yeah, we used to have to carry around an oxygen container wherever we went...that seems like another lifetime ago.


But when I hold Jacob this is what I see......

a sparkle in his eye when he catches my eye and starts doing 'patty cake' before me,

an arm wrapped tightly around mine, reminding me that I am someone special in his little life,

a sweet temperament that calms the whirlwind of boy noise and tumultuousness around our house,

a round little body warming my arms when I pick him up out of his crib in the morning, and he wriggles in delight,

the way he shows excitement with his whole body----tightening his cute little limbs, opening his eyes wide and panting excitedly as I quietly try to 'shush' him during church---even though I want to laugh at how funny he is,

the funny, questioning look in his eyes when he is babbling, "Da, Da, Da" and I say, "No, say, Ma, Ma, Ma"----he stops, looks at me and then continues his "Da, Da, Da" chorus with greater gusto,

the Light and Love that I feel from him every time I hold him in my arms and give him a squeeze----he is so pure, so completely filled with love and peace,

He is Jacob-----with funny, whispy hair; soft, meek eyes; softly grasping fingers; and a gummy smile that lights up my heart.

I don't know if this is Jacob, a child with Down Syndrome. To me he is simply Jacob, my darling little baby that has filled our house with love as only he can....just as each of his brothers has done before him, with their own unique personalities and sweetness. I want him to become all that he can, all that he is destined to be. But I don't want to 'fix' him..... I don't want to 'conquer' Down Syndrome. Instead, I want to walk hand in hand with it until I understand all that I can do to help Jacob be all that he is meant to be. But, for right now, he is my little Prince of peace and love.....and that is not 'normal' .........but it is perfect!

I love you, little Jacob! Happy Birthday, big boy!

Wow-----where has the time gone!?!

I keep meaning to post some perfect post that will make up for the fact that I didn't send out any Christmas cards this year and am still removing frozen lights from my front porch. Since it's the end of January, THE VERY END!, I think I will do a Valentine's 'card' instead and maybe I will think of some way to incorporate the porch Christmas lights to Valentine lights---perhaps spray painting them red would help? I'm not sure I'm up to the innovativeness of my friend, LuWenn, who spray painted her pumpkins to make a snowman decoration. But I'll give it a try.

I met a girl in our ward up here who would entrance me with her tales of going to the grocery store and getting 'free' stuff. She made it all sound so simple, I thought, I have a brain, I should be able to figure this out. Well, I do have a brain, but for some reason it is not in top condition, which is what every good coupon clipper needs, I think. I entered the world of coupon clipping ready to conquer all and show my good husband what a thrifty wife he has. So I started with a simple Albertson's sale. Let's see, you buy $20 worth of certain items and you get $5 to spend on your next transaction. Should be a piece of cake. Well, the trick I learned from Sarah, was to get the first transaction to be discounted with your bunch of coupons and then to use still more coupons and the $5 on the next transaction so that it came out practically free. See....there is a hitch here. It sounds good on paper, I figured out all of my 4 transactions that would be discounted using multiple coupons and the $5 Albies would give me and I would be sitting pretty. Well, here's the hitch......when you get this all figured out on paper so that you can waltz into Albies, pick up the items, stack them into 4 separate piles (amidst disapproving stares from fellow shoppers and the cashier), you never figure that Albertsons will be sold out of that item, because everyone else in the valley is doing the same thing you are! So then you have to grab your coupon book (which used to be a photo album in it's better days) and rummage through it to figure out how to get to your $20 again with items that you truly need, have a coupon for and can find in the store. The planned 10 minute escapade turns into an hour of thinking, re-thinking, pulling your hair and wondering if your kids are still watching the movie you put on in the car (when you promised that you'd only be 10 minutes in the store) or if they're running loose in the parking lot! Wow, stress level goes up! You get it eventually, but wonder.....did I really need that, did I save enough to justify all this hair falling out?

I have to say, though, that I was so proud of my 75 boxes of cereal that cost $1 or less that I had to invite everyone who walked through the door to come and view the masterpiece so carefully laid out in my food storage room. BUT when I thought I'd gotten a deal on Velveeta cheese last week at Smith's (which we usually don't eat, but was a deal, so I'm sure I could find recipes somewhere!) and then looked at the Albertsons ad the next day that said I could have bought the same crackers that I'd bought at Smith's for $1 less AND get FREE velveeta cheese, I thought I'd cry----and I did dream about it all night long----must be my subconscience trying to figure out how I could screw up so badly!!

I hope the learning curve get's easier. Some things have worked well, other's haven't (big oops!), I've spent a little more then normally, but in general I think my food storage is in better shape. When I have another minute between Jacob's non-sleeping ear infection moments, then I will write down some of the tips I've learned. It definitely has been an adventure and something new to learn and try. I didn't know I could get teary about the 6 cans of Glade Air freshner I got for FREE---wow, they look so beautiful all stacked next to my 75 cent shampoo bottles! I did it, I finally figured out how to get FREE ITEMS! So now I can smile smugly at people and tell them that you can get FREE stuff out there if you just work at it a bit (ha, ha, ha!).

However, in the midst of feeling guilty for spending so much time trying to figure out the silly coupon saving bit and then feeling bad that I didn't get the best deal around, a friend of mine sent me this email that I thought was so beautiful---so I thought I'd share!

Interview with God

The Reason for the Season

I thought this slide show was a beautiful remembrance of 'the reason for the season.' I love Christmas....the decorations, the smells, the music, the being together, the excitement, the love, the peace, the wonder..... But sometimes in the 'hustle and bustle' of it all, I am "prone to wander.....prone to leave the God I love." He is the reason and the means of all that I hold dear....as Jonathan says, "Thank you, Jesus."

Fall Blessings, Halloween Ghouls, and Winter Fright!

Winter came knocking at our door this week! David was thrilled that the snow was perfect for a snowman---well a very ghoulish looking snowman! We thought he was quite unique looking with onion eyes, celery nose and leafy mouth! Welcome to Winter!!!!















The Blessings of Fall and Harvest---not to be confused with the Curse of the Canning season---is coming to an end! I think about in mid-September I start praying for a killing frost so I can be done canning and then of course, I'm disappointed that I didn't get everything done that I'd planned. This year I had some wonderful blessings that I wanted to make sure and mention.

• The first was a mother-in-law that canned green beans and pears for me----2 things I despise picking and canning. 96 quarts of beans and 52 quars of pears! Wow!

• The second was some wonderful ladies in the ward that were looking for someone to serve and wanted to can all my applesauce for me---all I had to do was pick the apples, wash bottles and provide lids---well, do you think that I could even get that done? So the kind ladies took pity on me, used their own apples, jars and lids and brought me 48 quarts----for applesauce, that is huge! Now, they did this for MANY different people in the ward, I can't imagine how many hours of service that was. I did get bottles and lids eventually washed and returned to them with LOTS more boxes of apples for them to can, but I was thankful they didn't wait for me or they would have never gotten anything done.

• The third was my kind husband who's ingenious tomato contraption produced picture-perfect tomatoes this year that actually ripened! Wow, this was a new experience! Usually Idaho frosts beats us to them. Also, my Dad provided us with lots of buckets of his tomatoes that added to ours in order to can lots of tomato soup! UMMM! Thank you Jeff and Papa Joe!
  

• The fourth was Joseph and Papa Joe that provided yummy venison to can and add to our food storage! I love canned venison in stew----it's so fast and yummy!

• The fifth was another very busy family in our ward who were wondering if they could have some of our apples to press into apple juice. We happily gave them whatever they could take and they brought us back some very yummy juice! Wow, nothing like that canned stuff in the store! But that's not all, they wanted us to have the great experience of pressing our own apples and so that made time in their very busy day to bring over their in-laws apple press and help us press about 25 more gallons. We had a great time and the rewards were scrumptuous!

As I gaze at all of the bottles lining my shelf, I feel very blessed and safe---what is it about looking at jars of food that you've canned (well---with lots of help, that is!) that makes you feel content and fulfilled? Kind of weird---I know, but it is a great feeling----kind of an "I did that!" feeling.

We also had a great Halloween---here are some of our cute little critters:

Preston High JV Soccer 2008

Soccer Joe's JV season

We have been wanting to post pictures of our amazing Preston High School Soccer player for awhile. But since my camera has had it and most of the time I forget to take pictures because the game gets too exciting anyway, I haven't had anything worth looking at. Fortunately, at the Soccer banquet last week, one of the Soccer mom's gave me a whole disk worth of JV pictures! What a sweetheart! The JV team had a GREAT season---they won 7, tied 5 and lost 2. They were a very fun team to watch and we loved going to their games. And they love playing so much that a few of them have decided to take it indoors and play soccer all winter long. Of course, Joseph can't be left out of that! So I guess we'll get to continue watching our number 2 a little while longer. Congrats, Joseph on a great season!

Suggestions for Strengthening Families

My friend, LuWenn, had this list posted on her website. It is a little daunting, but I thought it was a good reminder, and self-check list to see how I'm doing with my family. I have a very LONG ways to go with these things, so I'm posting them here to remind myself of what my priorities should be. LuWenn said that she got this list from her Area Authority at their last Stake Conference. It was given to him and other General Authorities at a training by one of the Twelve Apostles. Anyway, we always need a list to work on, so here is not just any list but THE LIST of all lists!

The following instructions appear at the top of the list:

Remember that Satan’s focus is everything associated with Family.

Understand and implement each principle on the list before using an exception as an excuse.

Do not be overwhelmed, but be persistent and consistent.

Understand the principle “that by small means the Lord can bring about great things.”

So here’s “the list.”

1. Assist sons to earn the “Eagle Scout” and “Duty to God” awards and daughters to earn the “Young Womanhood” award.

2. Eat at least one meal together every day as a family.

3. Kneel together in family prayer night and morning.

4. Teach children the importance of graduating from Seminary and Institute.

5. Help children save for missions and for post high school education.

6. Review frequently and practice consistently the principles taught in The Family.

7. Teach children the principles of thrift and how to avoid unnecessary debt.

8. Attend church as a family and sit together near the front of the chapel.

9. Hold meaningful family home evenings every Monday.

10. Teach children the “Plan of Salvation” with emphasis on the essential nature of “Saving Ordinances.”

11. Hold husband/wife planning sessions weekly to discuss relationship needs, individual children’s needs, and family finances.

12. Arrange schedules so that one parent can spend dedicated time with one child each week.

13. Don’t give children an allowance. Rather, provide them with worthwhile work opportunities, pay them for jobs well done and teach them how to budget their earnings.

14. Search the scriptures daily, both personally and as a family.

15. Hang a picture of the temple in a prominent place in your home. Attend the temple often and express your feelings about the temple to your children.

16. Fill your home with worthy literature and worthy music.

17. Strictly monitor the use of television and Internet for yourselves and your children.

18. Arrive at church 10 minutes early so that you can pause and meditate.

19. Obtain, study, and reflect on patriarchal blessings regularly.

20. Teach children that their individual worth comes from who they are–not from what they have or what they don’t have.

21. Correct children in a firm and timely manner. Focus on the unnacceptable behavior without demeaning the child.

22. Establish your home as a place of peace, security, understanding, quiet communications, and love.

23. Lead out in “giving heed to all the words of the prophet.”

24. Be prepared for temporal emergencies by implementing the guidelines found in the “All is Safely Gathered In” booklets.

25. Teach children to enjoy hard work.

A pretty exhaustive list!! Just thought I'd share!

The Deer Hunt

How do we lift this thing up?

A four-pointer no less!

Joseph got his first deer last Friday----what an experience! He and Papa Joe left about 5:30 a.m. to scout out the perfect place. I guess lots of other people thought it was the perfect place too, because they had lots of company! Joseph said that he got his deer about 11:30 a.m. Well, we didn't see Joseph or Papa Joe until about 8:00 p.m. that night.....so what happened??!!?? Well, of course, there's the story! Dragging the deer back to the truck after it was shot was another story. Joseph kept saying, "I don't know how we did it-----I was totally exahausted, but I wasn't going to let a 70-year-old man beat me! If Papa Joe could do it, then so could I!" We forgot to tell Joseph that Papa Joe's mantra is "If it's not hard, it's not worth doing!" Just kidding! They had a great time and we learned the fine points of bottling venison on Saturday---those 16 quarts of meat are very precious! If you think tomato soup is time consuming----try bottling venison! Anyway, Congrats to Joseph on his first deer---a four-pointer, no less!

Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!!

Happy Birthday---Joseph-15!!!, David-7!!!!, Grandmother????!!!!

We had a great 'combined' birthday party for Joseph, David and Grandmother on Friday. Thanks for coming, Grandmother and Papa Joe! Actually, Grandmother's 'surprise' party was on Saturday, so we included her in our Friday party so she wouldn't 'suspect' that there was going to be another party! Anyway, we had lots of fun---ate Taco Soup, blew out candles on raspberry filled cake and ice cream, popped balloons and opened presents, of course! Everything's better when there's presents.............David's sure of that! We love you Joseph and David and Grandmother! You're the best!